Written on my skin

I have a tattoo.

I love and adore every facet it:

- the symbolism

- the script

- the reminder

- the placement

- the conversation starter

Some people don't feel the same.

When I first became a consultant I wore lots of bracelets and watches to cover it up.  I was worried members would not take me seriously because an international officer once demanded to know why I had marked my body forever.  She didn't agree with my choice so I was self-conscious.  

This has changed.

During one of my first visits, some of the women asked me about it so I explained it to them.  No big deal.  This happens all the time.  Except this time a woman came up to tell me how our experiences are similar.  She opened up to me and I became less self-conscious.  This has happened time after time during my visits, and I'm grateful for this reminder engrained in my skin. More importantly, I'm grateful I have this to start the conversation. Forever. 

I have a tattoo and April marks a four year anniversary for me.  It has been four years since my last suicide attempt.  Second semester of my first-year of college had some dark moments.  I wasn't always the happy-go-lucky-friends-with-everyone-in-the-world-Grace... even though it may have appeared that way.

Now for those of you who have never asked me about my tattoo, this is how my anniversary and my tattoo walk hand in hand in life: 

- This tattoo reminds me to slow down and notice others around me.  I've had two best friends and two sisters who were suicidal.  In some cases I didn't notice.  The script of my tattoo is the handwriting of one of these best friends. They are all still alive so don't worry.

- It also serves as a reminder to take time for myself because I have been to that brink and back.  It's a scary place and somewhere I never wish to be again.  Now I'm not saying I have never had suicidal thoughts since then but the attempts have stopped.  

- The placement of my tattoo is intentional as well.  This is the place I used to write reminders to myself so they could not be washed away with a swish of water and soap.  

This reminder will forever be written on my skin.  I don't feel self-conscious because suicide and mental health issues shouldn't be hidden by bracelets and watches.  They should be talked about and I shouldn't feel ashamed for trying to find a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  

These are real issues that people struggle with on a daily basis.

So I'm open to starting the conversation and starting the change.  

Lessons of the road

...and a cheesy quote to add flair.

Spring Break is finished for this LC and I could not have been more thankful for the time to spend with my family and friends in the wonderful, beautiful KCMO.  This was also such a powerful time to reflect on the past months in this job and how I've changed and developed as a result.  There have been so many things I am glad I was able to learn while serving this organization. Here's just a few:

I used to romantize this organization and believe there were no imperfections; this of course is not true and while this was hard to swallow at first it also gave me a passion to help improve this organization.

My answer to the question, "Why did you want to be a Leadership Consultant?" has changed a lot during my year of travel and right now my go to answer is something like this:  Because I love Alpha Delta Pi.  I believe in the mission we all share.  I firmly believe that Alpha Delta Pi has the power to change women for the better and I enjoy being part of that journey.  I think that sometimes our Alumnae forget who this organization is all about, and I am so lucky to be able to work in the trenches with these women on chapter issues.  That's something I always want to remember: Alpha Delta Pi was put in place to enrich the lives of collegiate women and to add to their college experiences.  

I have been very blessed with strong female leaders in my life and it can be discouraging for me when I'm not surrounded by fellow strong female leaders.

This job has taught me how to be sure of myself in all situations.  Self-esteem and body image are still things I struggle with at times (what women doesn't?) but I have learned to be sure of myself and my body because those have been my only true constants in this job.  

Sometimes this job sucks, just plain sucks, and it is not as glamorous as one would think from the outside looking in.  Sure all the consultants seem put together and ready to take on the world when viewed on social media, but I know for sure that this job is not always that way.  To steal a quote from Mindy Kaling, "Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched."  This is a great skill to have in life.  

One of the hardest parts of this job is finding a place in a chapter's sisterhood and true friendship bonds with women and then leaving the next day.  I've cried multiple times leaving a chapter.  

One of the coolest parts of this job is knowing that every visit has an expiration date.  This is the silver lining when a visit has proved to be difficult emotionally, physically, and mentally. 

I have learned to meet a chapter where they are.  Not every chapter is a Golden Lion Chapter (top award in ADPi land) or even a Diamond 4-Point Chapter (base award in ADPi land).  This took far too long for me to learn but once I learned this and put it into play for my chapters I learned how to help them get to the next step. Even if that next step is just turning in paperwork on time.

This detailed orientated gal has adopted a new outlook of the bigger picture and understanding that the minor details sometimes won't matter in the long run.  There are bigger fish to fry in the consulting world.  

Life is so much more enjoyable when you are true to yourself (even if you're a little weird).  For a while in this job I was trying to live up to what I thought an LC was and be what I thought others expected me to be during chapter visits.  However, I found that I don't function well like the image I've conjured in my head.  That's okay.  I found it's more than okay for me to be me and to be a servant leader at my visits.  Multiple times collegians and advisors have told me I'm a "different" consultant, and I still don't know if that's been a good or bad thing.  

While I am genuinely sad to leave this job, I am ready for the next adventure and to serve Alpha Delta Pi somewhere else.  

March Schedule

Alpha Epsilon Chapter at University of Nebraska-Lincoln

Epsilon Mu Chapter at University of Northern Iowa

Theta Xi Chapter at University of Central Oklahoma

Return visit to Eta Kappa Chapter at California State University- San Bernardino

Epsilon Nu Chapter at Ashland University

Upsilon Chapter at Washinton State University

With so much time spent in the Midwest this is sure to be a great month!  

February Schedule

Start off the month finishing up at District Leadership Conference VI in California

Head to Beta Phi Chapter to meet fellow consultant, Lauren, at University of Maryland

Ole Miss Installation over Valentine's Day

Visit Chicago for the first time with Theta Mu Chapter at Loyola University- Chicago

Finally, visit University of Nebraska- Lincoln, Alpha Epsilon Chapter, to round out my month in the great midwest!

January Schedule

Well the 2013-2014 Leadership Consultants have officially hit the road again!  I have already spent almost a week in New Orleans at Tulane University working with the newly reinstalled Epsilon Chapter!  Here's my schedule for the rest of January:

Epsilon Chapter at Tulane University in New Orleans

Eta Beta Chapter at Allegheny College in Meadville, Pennslyvania

Back to Epsilson Chapter

Chi Chapter at Wittenberg University in Springfield, OH

Executive Office in Atlanta, Georgia for some additional training before District Leadership Conferences!

District VI District Leadership Conference in Garden Grove, CA

A semester in numbers

Well I did a review in photos but for all my fellow mathematicians here's a review in numbers!

19 visits (20 if you count the one day trip to Ole Miss)

26,399 Miles traveled since Grand Convention

28 cities (counting layovers)

13 states

2 countries

1 Province

10 Recruitments

5 Bid days

5 Spirit Weeks

4 Initiations 

2 Officer Transition Workshops

Lost items:

3 toothbrushes (don't worry I packed extra!)

3 earrings

2 reusable waterbottles (approximately 53 plastic ones)

2 belts

2 notebooks

2 sharpie pens

1 camera 

1 phone charger

1 boarding pass

1 tube of toothpaste

Finally:

96,582,842+ laughs, hugs, smiles, and memories

Here's a map of all my chapter visits this past semester!

A semester in pictures

Keeping up with a blog takes a lot time so I've decided to update the blog-sphere via photos for all of my visits.  Without further ado here's a semester in photos:

1. Epsilon Epsilon Chapter at Texas Tech University

The stadium and new scoreboard.

In Texas the veggie burgers consist of a bun and veggie... not bad!

Experienced my first whole, fresh jalapeno 

Wore my first big tee

Visited the double T bench

and the Texas Tech seal

Holden Hall where all students who attend Texas Tech have a class at least once

Always love a good Chemistry class

A man made of books (just like I like 'em!)

Here they have trees growing in buildings

Favorite sculpture on campus.  The senior art students make a sculpture for the campus every year.

Love Texas Tech!

2. Theta Eta Chapter at Drake University

Spirit with some of the greatest gals!

Pin attire day during Spirit Week!

While our sorority may be older than Drake, it is still a beautiful campus!

Plus they have a great sense of humor.

For Philanthropy round one of the sisters created these adorable buckets.

Such a beautiful house for such beautiful women.

3. Epsilon Xi Chapter at Northern Arizona University

Got my first experience walking on the tarmac

Flagstaff is a pretty cool place!

Their walls were painted beautifully!

I was able to teach them the legendary hug train!

Pi love from Arizona!

Sometimes being an LC calls for traveling to return a U haul.

Man, Flagstaff is beautiful even with a storm brewing!

A lovely thank you from the sisters of Epsilon Xi

How cute is this?

Always love a good brag table!

4. Delta Rho Chapter at Gettysburg College

This women gave me the sweetest greeting ever!

During recruitment the sororities pound on the windows at the end of the rounds.

Fun while decorating for Preference!

The sweetest President of all time Miss Jo!

Loved working with this Recruitment Information Manager!

Bid day= best day!!

Rec center has a climbing wall inside this glass thingy

There is a tradition at the school where on your first day you walk across this seal and then never do so again until graduation.  

This is a building that served as a Union hospitable during the Civil War!

Most beautiful building on campus!

We visited a beautiful building that even had a secret basement.  Loved how much this college reminded me of William Jewell College!

After we climbed to the top of a tower the view was outstanding

This sweet sister was the best tour guide I could have had in Gettysburg!

Visited the place where THE address took place.

Love Delta Rho and the places they are going!

5. Zeta Phi Chapter at Francis Marion University

The campus had a pool where I then wanted to host all my meetings!

Sister RIM, Susan, let me visit with her at her home!  It was nice to be in an actual home once again!

Beautiful fountain on campus!

Bid day hugs

Panhellenic love!

Loved the Red, White, and Blue theme!

Oh, and I was able to travel via propeller plane.

6. Alpha Beta Chapter at University of Iowa

Beautiful house that was built like a Pi!

Recommendation from the District IV Recruitment and Marketing Director and it was delicious!

The chapter does a Tiffany's theme and I was OBSESSED!

There was so much school spirit that even after recruitment the sisters stayed up to watch the game!

They also made time for laughs and giggles along the way.

Hello pretty campus!

BID DAY

They even got a bounce house!! An LC's dream

Goodness bid day is the best day!

It's such a great day that the firemen even come to join us when we set off the fire alarm with our cotton candy machine #typical

7. Gamma Tau Chapter at University of Vermont

RAWR

Hello view from a firescape

This home served as my place of residence!  Loved it here.

Alphie at Vermont's Pub!

Did you know Burlington was the birthplace of Ben & Jerry?

Pictures with mascots are an LC classic!

Apparently, University of Vermont is obsessed with Harry Potter.

The water was only a short run away!

How artsy is this?  

8. Gamma Lambda Chapter at University of Rhode Island

Visited the East Coast!

Gorgeous!

Philanthropy is always a hit

How cute are these?

Gamma Lambda chalks the sidewalk leading up to recruitment

Sisters FRC and RVP did a fab job on recruitment!

9. Eta Gamma Chapter at Austin Peay State University

Within an hour of arriving on campus these athletic ADPi gals ran in the Gov run (aka color run for APSU)

Seriously such a blast and I'm sad I didn't get to participate!

The next day these pretty pearls were some of the 1/3 ADPi teams to play in Mudbowl (mud volleyball!)

I think I have a thing for school's seals

These rocking Eta Gamma women also won the Lip Sync competition and Kappa Alpha Order's philanthropy week!

10. Eta Kappa Chapter at University of California- San Bernardino

Day one: Panhellenic Preview night with the chapter

Found my first tumbleweed!

#bidday

Had my first Pad Thai!

And the sweet sisters let me table with them!

11. Theta Pi Chapter at Santa Clara University- Panhellenic

Blue and White get it right!

Work out with fellow LC to the Rose Garden!

She also fixed a disaster during recruitment

Look at this beauty of a centerpiece!

I love Alphas!

12. Epsilon Eta Chapter at Mississippi State University

Experienced my first Chick-fil-a shake!

Greatest campus tour from a fellow Panhellenic sister

Painting pumpkins with Sister Molly and Epsilon Eta!

Beyond blessed to have spent a week with this women!

13. Ole Miss Colony Retreat

One of the two photos I took during our night at Oxford

While this was one of two photos I did experience a wonderful act of sisterhood from fellow LCs in Oxford

14. Delta Delta Chapter at University of Arkansas

An ADPi razorback

Best tradition at this school

Happy Fall ya'll

15. Zeta Rho Chapter at Vanderbilt University

Hello Panhellenic Preview night! read: Open House of Recruitment

I love women named Grace, especially sisters!

I also love hanging out with their Golden Lion!

16.  Tulane Installation- Epsilon Chapter 

Beautiful gate to the building we had initiation!

Hello original charter!

17. Eta Eta Chapter at South Dakota School of the Mines and Technology

Sweet sisters to greet me at the airport!

They let me Pie a Pi and it was so much fun!

World: Meet Grubby!

Sister Samantha took me to a hockey game and it was literally the most intense sporting event I've ever been to in my life!

I love Missouri!

I ask a woman to take our group photo and this was the result.  #selfiemode

MOUNT RUSHMORE!

18. Beta Theta Chapter at University of Manitoba

Welcome to Canada!
They brought me some Canada only items, a hat, socks, and an extra coat because this gal had never been this far north!

Administration building

Canada discontinued the penny but keeps this in their mint!

Hello Canadian Mint!

19. Epsilon Epsilon Chapter at Texas Tech University (take two)

While in Lubbock I got to hang out with this beautiful cat and one of my favorite people in the world (consequently, did not take a photo with her)

20. Beta Sigma Chapter at Mercer University

This is Caroline Mertz or Octavia Rush's lineage!  

This is the beautiful alumnae house I stayed in while in Macon!